Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Now, before I begin let me state that I absolutely adore the Pirates of the Caribbean films. They have such a charm about them that I love.
That doesn't mean, however, that I can't see their flaws. Dead Man's Chest is not a patch on Black Pearl, and while World's End looks impressive, the truth is it is a complicated mess. I still love them though.
However, Stranger Tides has let me down.
What I was hoping for was the funny, clever fantasy adventure that we got from one, with Depp being able to shine as our swaggering and loveable Captain Jack. He has no Knightly or Bloom to weigh him down with plot; the focus could be completely on him.
However, that's not what the filmmakers had in mind. They have replaced Knightly and Bloom with two new romantic leads (Sam Clafin and Astrid Berges-Frisby), while also adding an old flame (Penelope Cruz) and a new enemy (Ian McShane)... and it fails completely.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against any of the actors mentioned above. Depp is on top form as usual as Sparrow, but their isn't any of those quirky one-liners or scene stealing moments that you get in the other films (why is the rum always gone?), simply because the plot is mind-boggingly complicated and so full of holes it just sinks (see what I did there?! ;P). Geoffry Rush as brilliant again and Ian McShane is given the dream role as Blackbeard, the most evil bastard to ever roam the seven seas... so why the hell is he given so little to do?!
And that right there is the problem. All the actors are brilliant as usual, even the newcomers. However (and I'm really sorry when I say this- I adore Sam Clafin; watch Pillars of the Earth to see why) not all of them are needed. All they succeed in doing is creating a, quite frankly, ridiculous plot, with too many characters that don't even know their own motivation, so I have no idea how an audience is gonna know!
There are some good elements to the film. Blackbeard's ship is impressive (but again, not featured enough). And the introduction of the mermaids is incredibly creepy. However, these don't outweigh the fact that you have no idea what is going on!
I have no doubt that Stranger Tides will still do well at the box office and the ending screams sequel, but here's hoping the producers learn one simple rule before then- all we need is a ship, a horizon and Captain Jack Sparrow...
Rating: 4 out of 10
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